Things I Don’t Say at Work
By Mariah Dwyer
No, sir
I don’t care if the deal ends at 5 p.m.
And it’s 4:45 p.m.
No, madam
I’m not going to repeat the offer
For the fifth time
You don’t get it so go away
No, sir
This is not an attitude
The music is loud
And I know you can’t hear me
No, madam
I don’t like working here
I know you see me dancing
But that’s the only way I can keep myself awake
No, madam
We don’t take coupons on food
Go to McDonald’s
They will make food your way
No, sir
I will not not charge you for coat check
Sorry
I need to make money too
No, madam
I will not accommodate
You and your party of 25
Go have a damn cookout
No, sir
I don’t care if you’re mad
Go ahead take to the blogs
Anyone can take to the blogs
No, madam
I will walk away from here
Go in the back and talk to my coworkers
About getting drunk because of you